Cairns to Uluru / Ayers Rock - 23 - 25 April

Left Cairns at the crack of dawn (what a surprise, must stop Filby booking our flights in future), bound for Uluru / Ayers Rock.

Sadly, the first thing you notice on arrival are the dirty, evil flies. Immediate priority was to buy a face net and retrieve Mrs Win the hat from the bottom of my rucksack. Second observation, we really are in the middle of nowhere! Finally you realise that big red rock in the middle of nowhere, is really quite impressive.

That afternoon we took a helicopter trip over Uluru and the nearby Kata Tjua / Olgas.

Above: Ayers Rock and The Olgas from helicopter

Ernest Giles was the first non-indigenous person to sight Uluru in 1872. He described it as "the remarkable pebble". It was given its English name of Ayers Rock in 1873 in honour of the then Chief Secretary of Australia. The sandstone formation stands 348 m (1,142 ft) high [863 m (2,831 ft) above sea level] with most of its bulk below the ground, and measures 9.4 km (5.8 mi) in circumference.

After a quick recovery from our flight, we boarded a bus destined for a desert dinner experience, the "sounds of silence". We first had bubbly (through our face nets) and watched the sunset over Ayers Rock and The Olgas. We were then seated in the open air restaurant, where we enjoyed ozzie delicacies, including, crocodile, emu, kangaroo, baramundi etc. When dinner was over and I was drunk yet again, all candles were extinguished and an eccentric bloke walked amongst the tables and animated the night sky. Sadly we had some cloud cover but it was still great to be sitting in the middle of the desert in the darkness with a nutter pointing his million candle watt torch at star constellations.

Above: Sounds of Silence dinner

The following day we headed for a close up view the Rock. Very sensibly we waited until the temperature had peaked at around 28 degrees, before walking 11kms around the rock base. You can climb up if you choose, and if the conditions are safe, but the Aboriginals ask you not too as Uluru is a sacred site.

For our final morning, we woke at 5am to catch the sunrise, which was spectacular. We then started our walk in the "Valley of the Winds" which took us on a circular trek through the impressive boulders of the Olga rock formations. Covered in the red dust of the desert, we headed for the airport, bound for Brisbane - our last stop on the great ozzie tour.

Back to Cairns - 14 - 23 April

The main reason for our return to Cairns was to complete our PADI open water diving course. However, we had a couple of days in Cairns prior to the course starting.

We took a day trip to Cape Tribulation. Packed loads in, including a trip on the Daintree River to look for crocs, a visit to Mossman Gorge, a long walk on Cape Tribulation Beach, where the mangroves and rain forest meet the sea, and a visit to the rain forest canopy park.

Above: Views on the way to Cape Tribulation

Above: Back in the jungle, Mossman Gorge swing bridge

Above: Cassawari, a rare and protected bird that has a lethal kick, found wandering in a car park. Possibly the strangest looking creature I have ever seen in the wild.

Above: Cape Tribulation on a grey afternoon. Cape Tribulation was named by James Cook as he grounded on a nearby reef.

The following day we arrived at Pro Dive and met our new class mates. From the UK, Simon the business consultant, Chris the chef on board a millionaire's super cruiser, and Justin the TV editor. From Germany, Alex the student with the super white teeth, (I could only assume he had a dentist in the family), and our instructor, Steffan. Steffan had a great sense of humour until you made any kind of mistake under the water. He then transformed into a scary creature from the deep.

Above: The Great Barrier Reef diving trip. Our dive class and Filby with his best turn-ups.

So, classroom lesson number one. Why do things float? What happens to air when it is put under pressure? Is it me, or is this quite difficult? Maybe something to do with lack of brain engagement for 5 months.

Pool skills, day one. Steffan shouted at me with a very strong German accent, "YOU ARE NOT A VORTER PERSON ARE YOU?" (as I nearly drowned swimming a length underwater without a mask on) and "YOU VERK IN AN OFFICE, I CAN TELL" (after I had yet again assembled my equipment incorrectly, causing the loud release of precious air from my tank).

After getting through the written exam, we headed to the reef. The three hour boat trip had a good number of folks chundering. We dived eight times during the three days, which was pretty tiring, particularly as we had to practice all our new skills at sea. It took me a few dives to get my buoyancy sorted, which clearly frustrated Steffan as I freqently bobbed to the surface, "I VILL NOW CALL YOU CORK DIVER"

Adam was a complete teacher's pet and suffered no such abuse.

Memorable moments:

• First dives of the group, where our lack of buoyancy control led to flippers in the face, tangled equipment and complete sand-cloud chaos on the ocean floor


• Shark swimming towards us at eye level, as Adam and I took our first buddy dive alone
  
• Shocking underwater navigation as Adam and I popped up to surface about 300 meters from the dive boat - ummm, not cool. Should have been closer to 20.
  
• Night dive - terrifying thought, but a very cool experience


• Deep dive to 30 meters - where both Adam and I suffered from nitrogen narcosis. Consequence of which was a very dangerous and unjustified confidence in my diving ability. Followed by uncontrollable hysteria on the ocean floor, sparked off by Steffan showing us a tennis ball, which is not at all funny under normal circumstances.

• Amazing array of marine life, including white tipped reef sharks, shovel nose rays, green and leatherback turtles, giant hump head parrot fish and thousands of beautiful reef fish.


• Photography dive, where from 50 shots I have one clown fish photo that is worth looking at.

We graduated beyond our open water course, to become "adventure divers". Being out on the reef, learning something new, facing a few fears, exploring the underwater world and meeting some great people, all contributed to making this experience the highlight of our trip so far.

Back on dry land and chuffed with our achievements, we met up with our dive group for a "few" drinks. I am not sure if it was the dehydration from time in the sun, or perhaps it was the three pints, ten gins and various slammers that led to some bad disco dancing, me preventing our group from gaining entry into a strip bar, (the bouncer said I was "too intoxicated") and me taking a nasty tumble in front of a policeman (the police force in Cairns are currently on a drunk and disorderly clamp down). Ohhhps. At least I was not arrested, unlike two other guys from our group. Good night, very, very bad hangover.

Darwin 11 - 13 April

Darwin in summary - energy draining heat, permo-sweat muggy, flattened by the 2nd world war, flattened again by a cyclone, must-see sights include electrical storms (ummm), nice marina, pretty sunsets, big insects, off-shore gas container ships, fish-feeding at high tide, fishing trips for baramundi, underground oil pipes from WW2, worth a visit to reach Kakadu National Park, otherwise, don't bother! Thank goodness for aircon!

Above: Yellow Water Billabong where we spotted salt water crocs and plenty of bird life, including the giant Jabaroo and the Jesus Bird, which walks delicately across the lilies

Above: Aboriginal cave paintings at Kakadu National Park. Aboriginals have lived in Kakadu for thousands of years and have used these caves for shelter from the harsh weather of these parts. Paintings were used for education and also to bring good fortune. I can not remember exactly the meaning behind the painting above, only that if a figure is hanging upside down, it portrays death.


Above: It was nearing the end of the wet season in the Norther Territory (or the Top End as they call it) so many areas of the park were still inaccessible. Luckily we had a bold driver.

Above: Filby in Crocodile Dundee territory

Above: Our day trip to Kakadu complete as we enjoyed a glass of wine overlooking the wetlands at sunset

A bit about Kakadu National Park

The park is located in the tropical north of Australia, 120 kilometres east of Darwin, covering a total area of 19 804 square km.

The flood plains of Kakadu are sites of ongoing geological processes that illustrate the ecological effects of sea-level change in northern Australia. As well, the park represents a series of interacting ecosystems that continue to evolve in their natural setting with minimum human disturbance.

Kakadu contains features of great natural beauty and sweeping landscapes. Its focal points are the internationally important wetlands and the spectacular escarpment and outliers.

The park contains important and significant habitats for a diverse range of flora and fauna, with more than 60 species of mammals, 289 species of birds (more than a quarter of all Australian bird species), 132 species of reptiles, 25 species of frogs, 55 species of freshwater fish and over 10 000 species of insects. (ie. don't go swimming in a billabong)